Are we in a gay sports bar?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
