Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
