College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
