Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
