Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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