Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
