His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
