woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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