Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
