Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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