Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
