He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
