Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
