It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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