Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The adults are the big ones right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
