yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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