I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
