i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
