just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
