the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
