For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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