**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
