she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
