i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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