Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
