There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
