I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so let's talk penis.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
