So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
