Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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