There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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