It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize