My nipple is on Facebook.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize