I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
