But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
