Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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