butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
