Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
