I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
