Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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