I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
