so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
