i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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