i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
