Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize