Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
