So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
