So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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