I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
