you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
