Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
