Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
